people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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