Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
