2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
