I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
