I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
