i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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