So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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