You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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