Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
