I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
