you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
