I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
