he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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