My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
