these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
