I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
