when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
