friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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