ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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