I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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