We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
