I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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