I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
