I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
