Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
