Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
last night I used snow as a chaser
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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