her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
