Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
