Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
