doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
