i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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