I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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