You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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