i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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