This girl is more easily done than said...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
