brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
