I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
