It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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