I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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