Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What a dumb baby whore.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
