Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
