It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
