Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
