i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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