i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
