Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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