she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
