My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
