Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
