is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
