YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
