She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Randomize
