there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
we made out on top of his cat.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
