I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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