I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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