she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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