i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
