I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
